We are here because we are dead. And ironically, the reason we are dead is that we cannot accept that we are, in fact dead. This, like so many truths, is a paradox. Hebrews 2:14-15 (Weymouth)Since then the children referred to are all alike sharers in perishable human nature, He Himself also, in the same way, took on Him a share of it, in order that through death He might render powerless him who had authority over death, that is, the Devil, and might set at liberty all those who through fear of death had been subject to lifelong slavery.
We are slaved to death, ironically, because we fear that same death. Fear of what might happen in the present causes us to take actions to avoid a negative now – which in many cases would not even happen – and thereby guarantees a negative future. So to avoid a risk of death today, we guarantee a certain death in the future. And that’s just stupid. Yes, we are selfish creatures, obsessed with our own needs; but if we were truly selfish we would never commit sin; nor, for loving our lives as we do, we should never do the things which lead to an eventual death.
Why then, do we sin anyway? If our selfishness should prevent sin, why doesn’t it? One word: Fear. If we truly believed there was enough food to go around, we wouldn’t want a little more than the next guy. Why take his, if there’s plenty where that came from? If we truly believed that “at his right hand are pleasures forevermore” we would count the things we suffer in this life as dung, not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
But there is a part of us that does not believe there is enough to go around; does not believe there is a crown of righteousness laid up for us in heaven; does not believe God has given his angels charge concerning us, lest we dash our foot against a stone. A part which may not even believe God notices us at all. And that part which doesn’t believe, has no alternative but to fear. That fear drives us to “trust in God, but keep our gun handy”. Which is basically saying, we say we trust God, but really we’re just giving him a chance – if he fails us, we were really counting on plan B the entire time; that’s the one we really count on.
Which really means we don’t trust God at all; we only trust ourselves to take care of ourselves. God may fail us, but we never will. And this is precisely backwards of how it should be; because our track record proves that no one could do a worse job with managing our lives than we did. Despite our many failures, despite the fact that our choices have routinely made things worse, aged our bodies, ruined relationships, made us more lonely, brought us more pain, and made us older and closer to death – we still continue to cling to the belief that we are better qualified to take care of ourselves than anyone else.
And really, the only evidence we can point to that justifies this belief is that somehow, against all odds, we’ve managed to stay alive so far. Which means that the only way we will ever be convinced that we aren’t qualified to keep ourselves alive is when we actually die. Which is why we must, if we are to believe.
DIE TO LIVE
If we won’t believe until we die, we have no choice but to die, before we can start to live. For only by giving up on doing it for ourselves, accepting our complete and utter failure and the death we feared so greatly, only this way can we let the One who can keep us alive start doing it. Only then will we get out of his way. John 12:25 He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life. But what are we supposed to do then? Not try? Absolutely, we try… but only to do our part. We are supposed to fight the good fight, keep the faith, study to show ourselves approved. But we are not supposed to worry about the things which are not our problem.
We are not supposed to try and protect ourselves when better Beings than us are on guard against those very things; not supposed to try and stress about acquiring things that better Beings than us have already bought for us, that are already on their way. Matthew 6:19-21 “Don’t lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don’t break through and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Now we read this as referring to gold, silver, shiny pebbles; which applies well enough, but those are not our greatest treasure on this earth. For didn’t the devil truly say of Job “Yes, all that aman has he will give for his life.”? (Job 2:4). If your body is your treasure, your body is where your heart will be. If your family is your treasure, that is where your heart will be. And yes, if your stuff is your treasure, that’s where yourheart will be. And if your heart is there… it’s not with God. It’s worrying about protecting your treasure – and worst of all, protecting it your way. Which is simply not possible. Solomon told us “There is no man who has power over the spirit to contain the spirit; neither does he have power over the dayof death” (Ecclesiastes 8:8). So why do we pretend we have that power? For it is that pretense which kills us, and robs us of the very thing we claim to treasure most – our lives.
2 TWO MASTERS
There is no Christian alive who doesn’t claim that their life belongs to God, blah blah blah. Yet every one of those Christians stresses over their lives; worrying about doctors, thieves, wrecks, spiders, germs, stressing themselves sick over something which was never in their power in thefirst place. Yes, you’re supposed to take good care of your body; feed it well, rest it well; but there’s a difference between that and taking crazy precautions to avoid germs or Yes, you’re supposed to take good care of your body; feed it well, rest it well; then let God worry about what happens next. And there’s a big difference between that and trying to guarantee you won’t get sick, hurt, or dead. Psalms 139:14-17 I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well. My frame wasn’t hidden from you, when I was made in secret, woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my body.In your book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is their sum!
When we resist this truth, we are like an animal tangled in a fence; animals, in fear of death, will trash themselves literally to death, like that cow we had one time. But the only way out of the trap is to wait for the farmer to wake up, miss you, and come help you. The only choice the animal has is whether the farmer finds a fatally exhausted lump of torn flesh, or a trapped, rested animal ready to be rescued. Because resisting death is futile; patientlywaiting to be saved from it is our only hope. We literally can’t do anything else; we are bound to death, trapped worse than the cow ever was. So what are we stressing about? All we can do is stand still, and wait for the salvation of the Lord. It’s either that, or run headlong into the spears of the Egyptians. Job 14:1-7 “Man, who is born of a woman, is of few days, and full of trouble. He comes forth like a flower, and is cut down. He also flees like a shadow, and doesn’t continue. … Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months is with you, and you have appointed his bounds that he can’t pass;Look away from him, that he may rest, until heshall accomplish, as a hireling, his day.
We do not have the power to lengthen our lives. We are assigned a certain amount of time by God, and that represents a firm barrier we cannot pass. Bashing our heads into the brick wall which is death will only accomplish one thing – shorten the very life we are trying to prolong. Because notice, God has appointed bounds we cannot pass with our lifespan; but he said nothing about shortening that life, which is entirely in our power. Indeed, that’s why we’re here tonight – so we can stop shortening it through our fear of death.
Verses 25-34 Therefore, I tell you, don’t be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food, and the body more than clothing? … “Which of you, by being anxious, can add one moment to his lifespan? …“Therefore don’t be anxious, saying, ‘What will we eat?’, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘With what willwe be clothed?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well.Therefore don’t be anxious for tomorrow, fortomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day’s own evil is sufficient.
Jesus said this because this is, in a nutshell, how to avoid death. Worrying about tomorrow, what you will eat, or be clothed with, or whether the barbarians will invade, is the fear of death; and that fear over something inherently beyond your control will only cause the very thing you fear. Notice, though, that Jesus said the gentiles worry about these things; and so they should.Remember, a wild animal in the forest is wise to fear death, for it stalks him daily and no one is coming to save him.
It’s survival depends on it’s fear, it’s heightened senses making it alert to the slightest snap of a twig or a sudden silence in the forest. Does yours? Is your continuing survival dependent on yourown alertness and self-defence abilities, or does it depend on the blessing of God? Isaiah 54:14-17 In righteousness you shall be established: you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not be afraid; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. Behold, they may gather together, but not by me: whoever shall gather together againstyou shall fall because of you. “Behold, I have created the smith who blows the fire ofcoals, and brings forth a weapon for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.
No weapon that is formed against you will prevail; and you will condemn every tongue that rises against you in judgment.This is the heritage of the servants of Yahweh, andtheir righteousness which is of me,” says Yahweh. A wild animal rightly fears death, for sooner or later, something will kill it and eat it; that was literally it’s reason for existing. 2 Peter 2:12 But these, as unreasoning creatures, born natural animals to be taken anddestroyed, speaking evil in matters about which they are ignorant, will in their destroying surely be destroyed, We were once wild animals in the real world; we had legitimate reason to fear the drug dealersand car accidents and diseases and we were correct to believe that we had to look out forourselves, because no one was coming to save us.
Truly, the gentiles do and should fear these things, for God has no reason to protect them fromhunger, death, and loneliness – seeing that they are, by definition, those who left the garden of Eden and whose descendants continue to reject His house to this day. Their rebellion explicitly made their survival their problem, and so they rightly fear the consequences of failing to look out for themselves. But are you a gentile? Or are you in the house of God?
DOMESTICATION
We were wild animals before, loners against the world; but this night commemorates ourdomestication. This is the night we were bought with a price, blood put on our door place andsafely hidden in His house from the death angel. But that means we are no longer our own master; we hid in the house because we didn’t believe we could fight the death angel alone; why then, do we keep trying to do that which we alreadyconfessed we could not do? When we were wild, free, were we capable of guaranteeing our survival? Did we find happiness, safety, prosperity, peace in taking care of ourselves our way?
If you believe the answer is yes, you should not be here.But if you believe, as I do, that my life was not better when I focused on those things, then why would we continue to stress over acquiring the things which our master provides for us? Why reject the benefits of domestication, and act as if we still live in the jungle? Why protectourselves from God himself as if he were another wild beast intent on killing us? Our freedomto protect ourselves didn’t work the first time, remember. What makes you think it willwork now?
So on this night, we confess our sins make us worthy of death; accept that despite our best efforts, we lost the battle against the great terror and became the servants of death. That the deathangel has a right to us, and we could not resist him no matter how we cheated. So on this night, to escape that master, we accept that he owns us; accept that we deserve thatdeath, and accept it graciously.In the confidence that if we do, our new master will come again, and not merely give us back thelife we had, but a better one; an eternal one.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But this only works if we stop trying to save ourselves at the same time! It’s hard to convince someone that you’ve given up on something you’re still actively trying to do! Hard to convince God you accept your death, when your life is consumed with preventing it. Remember the death of that calf caught in the fence; after days stuck in the fence, strugglingitself into exhaustion, when we showed up to help it still tried to help itself. No amount of failurewould convince it that this was beyond it’s power, and it’s only hope was in salvation fromabove. That there was no point in even trying to save itself.How many of us have been guilty of the same thing? Who amongst us is, at this verymoment, doing the same thing?
NOT TIME AND CHANCE
You will not die because God looked away and a lightning strike caught you. You will not die of Covid nor the Covid Vaccine, nor of any conceivable thing which happens to you. If you could be killed by these things without His knowledge, then God would be a liar. Psalms 34:15 Yahweh’s eyes are toward the righteous. His ears listen to their cry.Psalms 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out ofthem all.The afflictions do not come without God’s knowledge; And if you could be killed by them with his knowledge when he didn’t want you to die, God would be the some-mighty, not the all-mighty.
Look at how explicitly God laid out the rules for the devil’s persecution of Job. So if bad things happen to you, they do so with God’s tacit consent, if not by his actual command. Resisting thosebad things, or trying to avert them yourself, is therefore fighting against the will of God, himself. Because the reality is, either God had no intention of afflicting us in that way we imagining,meaning our safeguards are a waste of time… or else God is going to afflict us whether we like itor not, and our safeguards are, again, a waste of time and likely to tick him off further besides.
Either the Lord is your shepherd, and you shall not want… or you are your shepherd, and youwill… probably want. God will not believe that He is your shepherd while you are your backup shepherd whenever God isn’t as fast as you think He should be.
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
Jesus counselled us not to overthink things; just to take life as it comes – enjoying the daily bread, patiently enduring the daily liver, and letting tomorrow worry about itself.Psalms 118:24 This is the day that Yahweh has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it! Do your best to anticipate His will, and work within it, but remember always that it is His will that guides your life, not your own. Unless you’re a gentile. But we are here because we chose not to be; if that’s a choice you regret, you should leave now, before you make it worse.
But if you really believe God exists, God is good, and knows who you are, then you must alsoknow that nothing happens TO US without at the very least God’s tacit consent. So what use is your locking your doors or carrying a gun? There is literally nothing that can happen TO US that will shorten our lifespan, our health orhappiness, or our relationship with God. But pay attention: I said above that nothing can be doneTO US that can shorten our allotted span of life. There are, however, many things you can do to shorten your life without his consent. Chief among them… stressing about that very shortening.
Because anxiety is fear; and fear leads you to act to protect yourself; and protecting yourself often means doing so at the expense of someone else; and that is a sin; and sin leads to death. A death caused by the anxiety about death. And even if you should find a totally sin-free way to protect yourself… your anxiety will never be satisfied because the real problem is that you have now accepted your own fears as yourmaster. You have decided that your safety is your problem, and that you, and only you, are truly qualified to protect yourself from your fears. And that means you’re a wild animal – made to be taken and destroyed. And you will be.
LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE
The universe is structured with very clear responsibilities for everyone in it; a man is responsible for his house, and not the house of his brother. He is not, after all, his brother’s keeper. A child iresponsible to do what he is told, a wife to obey her husband, a boss to answer for his employee’s mistakes to his customers, and so on. All of us have responsibilities, and in most cases these are quite limited and fairly easy tomanage. The PROBLEM begins when we, for one reason or another, worry about things which are not our responsibility.
Andrew will not answer to a customer for why we drilled a hole in his water pipe. Adrian willnot answer to the customer for why we scheduled too many greenhouses in a day. These things fall on me. I have planned for them, I have contingencies, and in a pinch I have sufficient money to cover any sins I commit against my customers. But when my employees stress, fret, rush or otherwise try to take responsibility for these things, they invariably make more mistakes, and make my job harder. Not knowing I have contingencies, not believing in my competence to take care of things, they try to control things that are inherently beyond their power to control – and in so doing, make the very mistakes theyare at such pains to avoid.
And so do we all. God is responsible for feeding the hungry, not me. I am responsible only to feed the hungry whom God brings to me. Letting billions of hungry people in the world weigh on my soul is not something my soul is equipped to handle – and letting it try anyway would surely break me. I am responsible for the good name of EtexGreenhouse, not Adrian. He is responsible only to attempt to do the things I tell him. I say attempt, for I know the naughtiness of his heart, and I have planned for him to fail, and will protect the name of EtexGreenhouse from him when that happens.But how hard will our relationship be if he is simultaneously trying to protect the name of EtexGreenhouse from my failures? Only one of us can be surety for that name, and we all know which of us is better qualified to do so.
So him worrying about all the greenhouses I might sell, where they are and what his failure might cost me is something his soul is not equipped to handle – and trying to do so anyway would surely break him. Likewise, when you were baptized God became responsible for your life; you are responsible only for such maintenance of that life as is consistent with a good steward; diet, exercise, and so on.
Making your survival the #1 goal of your life, taking responsibility for that is not something your soul is equipped to handle; and trying to do so is what has broken all of us. So tonight is about letting go the things someone else is already handling.Because the dead do not struggle in the trap; the dead do not fear for tomorrow. They are simplydead. And the sooner you realize that you will never save yourself, the sooner Jesus can give you eternal life.
A VAPOR
Anxiety is, at it’s heart, the compulsion to control something you cannot possibly control. Flinching will not make a car not hit you. Holding your breath will not make the plane not crash. Thrashing in terror will not prevent you from drowning. These things are not in our control, and anxiety is the attempt to control them anyway.It is the ridiculous belief that it is in our power to control the weather, to see sharks coming, and that if we stay alert we cannot be hurt. That because other humans whom we naively trusted to care for us in our youth betrayed us, that therefore no one, not even God, can ever be trusted again.
And that is, blatantly, wrong. There are humans you should trust – at least not to kill you, lie to you, or fail to help you when you need it. Not many, granted, but those who earn it should not be denied that trust simply because a trust once foolishly given to an evil person was betrayed. And God, certainly, should not be denied it; for Jesus made us many promises to help us overcome these specific anxieties; if we believe Him. For our heart fears death, and Jesus said to us…John 10:28 I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatchthem out of my hand.
Our spirit fears loneliness, but to it Jesus said… Hebrews 13:5 Be free from the love of money, content with such things as you have, for he has said, “I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.” And our soul fears pain, and to it Jesus said… Mark 16:18they will take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it will in no way hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” If this is true, if you believe this, then you need fear literally nothing. If it is not, don’t pretend you believe that it is – take care of yourself, and leave God out of it.
VAPOR
And the real irony is that, even if we could manage to save our lives… what is it, anyway, that we would be saving?James 4:14 Whereas you don’t know what your life will be like tomorrow. Forwhat is your life? For you are a vapour, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. We spend our lives desperate to trap something, protect something, which doesn’t even matter. All of our anxieties about death are the equivalent of trying to trap steam boiling out of a pot of water – impossible, and ultimately meaningless even if you could succeed. For in the end, it’sjust steam, there’s plenty more water in the ocean.
Just as there is plenty more life in God’s house.For your breath is made of a drop of water in the ocean of God, transformed into air by the sun, the Son of God, which gives you that life which is so precious to you but which, in reality… is just smoke. Smoke that is designed to last for a while, drift to the heavens, and vanish into its component parts. So these things – pain, loneliness, even death – are justly called vanity, nothingness, by God. And yet we were made servants of these vanities by God. Put in bondage to these fears, by being created with three fractions, each vulnerable to a specific primal fear.
We were given a heart which fears death; a spirit which fears solitude; and a soul which fears pain. These fractions – us – were bound together against their will, and forced to try and navigate a course in life avoiding all of the things that each of these fractions will fear. And that’s quite an impossible challenge. We didn’t choose this – no one asked us who we wanted our fraction-mates to be, what we wanted them to be like – but God did it anyway in the hopes that the creation could be saved by this very vanity. These fears were created, counterintuitively, to help us not fear. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love.
THE OPPORTUNITY
If you only feared pain, it would be possible to isolate yourself in a rubber room and greatly minimize any possible risk of pain and be reasonably happy. But doing so would cause your spirit to be restless, for it fears loneliness. While your soul might be happy trading company for safety, your spirit might not be. Likewise, our heart fears death; so it might be happy to do anything to avoid that fear; but then, if it requires suffering or pain to minimize that risk – like exercising – then the soul might beanxious, even if the heart is happy.
Thus, there is no way to make all three happy in their base state. You cannot possibly create anenvironment where there is no death to fear, no loneliness to fear, and no pain required to prevent the other fears. It simply doesn’t exist. Thus these three fractions will have to compromise with each other; in some cases, they meet half-way. In others, they take turns fearing and being comforted, being with people and then shunning them, to first satisfy their need of company and then their fear of death. But the right way – the real goal – is not to force them to trade off their fears, but to teach them not to have the fears in the first place. To conquer the fear of death, for example, you mustconvince the heart that it cannot escape death – that to fear death is to cause it – and that if itreally loves its life it must lose it.
John 12:25 (BBE) He who is in love with life will have it taken from him; and he who has no care for his life in this world will keep it for ever and ever. To conquer the fear of pain, you must convince your soul that this, too, shall pass. That the suffering of the moment – a woman in labor, for example – will pass, and be forgotten in the joy that replaces it. John 16:21A woman, when she gives birth, has sorrow, because her time has come. But when she has delivered the child, she doesn’t remember the anguish any more, for the joythat a human being is born into the world. The soul, dwelling as it does in the future, should realize this; but its misguided concern for thebody often makes it forget this truth which it alone knows: that tomorrow comes. Today’s torture will pass. But that’s hard to believe in the moment. Which is why it takes work to convince yoursoul of this truth.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. But not only that, your soul must believe that the future it sees justifies the present it suffers. That no matter how miserable and painful our life might be, that “all things are working together for good” in us, and that everything we experience will one day prove to have been worth it. Romans 8:18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which will be revealed toward us.
FEAR OF LONELINESS
And finally, to conquer the fear of loneliness you must realize that you aren’t ever alone. For every one of us is a threefold cord, and as we build trust between these fractions, we will not need any other herd to satisfy us.One of many common laments in the world is “I don’t want to die alone”. To which the obvious answer, which everyone knows is, “everybody dies alone”. Because it’s literally impossible to walk down the long hallway into oblivion with your family and friends. They cannot follow you, any more than Jesus’ disciples could follow him. John 13:36 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered, “Where I am going, you can’t follow now, but you will follow afterwards.”
Speaking of His impending death, Jesus said no one could follow him. That he had to die alone. Only… He didn’t. Because his spirit and his heart and his soul were together. There is an allusion to this in… John 13:1 …when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father,having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. As I’ve said in previous Passovers, this was talking of the disciples of course, but also of his own fractions. He loved His heart and His spirit, and He loved them unto the end; for this threefold cord is the only herd that literally cannot leave you until you walk through the door of death together.Human herds are nice at times; they make you feel good about yourself, until they don’t. Or they make you feel good, but then you realize it’s not enough. Because the only way to ever truly feel a part of something permanent is to unite your own inner parts.
THE REAL VS THE SHADOW
But I speak of spiritual things. Giving yourself a mental hug doesn’t feel the same as getting one from your mom. Telling yourself pain will pass isn’t as easy as simply not having pain. And not caring if you die is a lot easier if there isn’t anyone trying to kill you. And so our lives are spent, in a large part, convincing each of these fractions to believe in paradoxes; that death is life; that loneliness is belonging; that pain is comfort. And since this is diametrically contrary to the most primal nature of our selves, it is the greatest challenge there isin the world. One worthy of the Son of God. For He knew exactly how this felt. More than we’ve ever realized before.
John 2:24-25 But Jesus … didn’t need for anyone to testify concerning man; for he himself knew what was in man. And so we are gathered here tonight to commemorate the time when one man overcame this vanity. For here was a man like us, touched with the feeling of all three of our weaknesses. A man who feared to die, a man who feared being alone, and a man who feared pain.The sacrifice of Christ wasn’t simply about his death. Relatively speaking, that’s pretty easy. Youjust wake up one morning and the next morning you… don’t. Happens to millions of peopleevery day.
No, the sacrifice of Christ was about him overcoming his fractions; but more than that. It was about marshalling and persuading them to do what must be done. But more even than that; it was about confronting and overcoming their most powerful fears, the fears from which all other fearsand sins stem. The Passover sacrifice was designed not only to be a test of control and persuasion over Hisfractions; it was designed to specifically target each of the three primal motivators that every being deals with. Jesus had to overcome his fear of death. He had to overcome his fear of being alone. And he had to overcome his fear of pain. All other emotions, like frustration and anger and lust and sadness and so on are built up out ofthese basic motivators. Conquer these three fears and you have conquered every feeling.
FEAR OF DEATH
Fools naively believe that brave men don’t fear things. But bravery is feeling fear, but acting anyway because you believe in something else more. Because you value something more than your life, because there is something you desire more than you fear death. Luke 22:42-44saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him, strengthening him. Being in agony he prayed more earnestly.His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground. His fear of death was so great, that an angel from heaven strengthening him didn’t remove hi agony! His anxiety peaked so high that his blood pressure spiked, to the point that blood literally leaked into his sweat!
Hebrews 5:7-9 He, in the days of his flesh, having offered up prayers and petitions with strong crying and tears to him who was able to save him from death,and having been heard for his godly fear,though he was a Son,yet learned obedience by the things which he suffered.Having been made perfect, he became to all of those who obey him the author of eternal salvation, Thus, this test – and the foreknowledge of it, which made it worse – was tailor-made to confront the darkest fear of humanity in its most direct form: you will die. It will not be fair, you will see it coming, it will be slow, and even though you can stop it, you must not.
This is the worst, most difficult sort of death there is. Dying in violence or for your sins, this a beast can understand. And even, in a way, find acceptable if it thinks about it. But this? Going like a lamb to the slaughter? For something you didn’t even do, when you don’t even have to? Isaiah 53:7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lambto the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. A heart must be fully convinced of the paradox that it is only through death that it will live. It must believe that only by seeking to lose its life, only by humbling itself under the will of God, can it live for ever.Psalms 69:32The humble shall see this, and be glad: and your heart shall live that seek
God.
And Jesus’s heart was convinced. And that is why His heart, his body, became life for all those who were a part of it. 1 Corinthians 11:23… the Lord Jesus on the night in which he was betrayed took bread. When he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “Take, eat. This is my body, which is broken for you. Do this in memory of me.”… For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup,you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes. This bread, as we have said so many times, represents that body. It represents a body which, frankly, did something we cannot do. Ok technically, we could do it, but let’s be realistic – we could not have faced that fear and overcome it. Our love of truth, belief in God’s goodness, confidence in His promises simply isn’t strong enough.
Not when we knew we had a way out, like calling for angels to save us. Not when we could justify escaping death because it was unfair. Our desperately wicked hearts would have found away around this fear, not through it. But this bread represents a better heart than ours. A better body, one which was not only obedient, but convinced that it had to die not only to save its own life, but for the lives of all those who eat it.
All those of us to take this bread inside us are given access to that same heart which was alreadyconvinced. That heart in us gives strength to our own heart. Not enough to overcome all fear, justas the angel strengthening Jesus didn’t overcome all His fear – but enough to make it possible forus to look death in the eye until it blinks. John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies.Whoever lives and believes in me will never die. DO YOU BELIEVE
THIS?”
Reread that slowly. This bread is Christ IN us, our only hope of glory. If we believe it. Because only with this help can we hope to overcome that fear of death, and submit our fates to Him who judges righteously, knowing that if we die in the Lord, we also live with Him. Thus Jesus, by saying to the Father “thy will be done”, and standing by that decision all night as death approached, and then finally saying “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” Jesus overcame the fear of Death. 1 Peter 2:23 Who, when he was cursed, didn’t curse back. When he suffered, didn’t threaten, but committed himself to him who judges righteously; Even though at that moment He still had the power to call twelve legions of angels to help him… at that moment, He surrendered to death. He gave up this vanity, this vapor of smoke, trusting that whatever came next was God’s problem, not His.
And so, in our own way, must we. Not just on the stake, but every time we cross a street or swim or have a cough. We must remember that at baptism, our body became God’s; our survival is not our problem anymore. We sucked at it anyway, so it should be a relief to make it someone else’s problem. It is now His problem because by eating this bread He is now a part of us, and we of Him; so if he has the keys of death and hell and the power of eternal life… then we have them as well. And if he has already overcome death… past tense… Then so have we. So stop struggling against death, hurting yourself needlessly in a vain effort to defeat an enemy Jesus has already defeated. Stop trying to be a backstop for Jesus, just in case His conquering of death turns out to be an exaggerated; Give up the fight; you’ve already won.The only way to lose now… is to keep fighting.
THE FEAR OF ABANDONMENT
Jesus’ human herd assured him that He belonged, and that they would have his back no matter what. Just like every herd does – until things get too rough. Jesus, wisely, knew not to put his trust in this herd – even though it was the very herd He had created!Mark 14:27-31 Jesus said to them, “All of you will be made to stumble because of me tonight, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ However, after I am raised up, I will go before you into Galilee.” But Peter said to hi “Although all will be offended, yet I will not.” Jesus said to him, “Most certainly I tell you, that you today, even this night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny methree times.” But he spoke all the more, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.”
They all said the same thing. If Jesus had put his trust in his friends being there for him in crunch time, He might have fatally erred; but He knew that he could not put His trust in the son of men – even the best of them would betray him when it got hard enough. Psalms 146:3 Don’t put your trust in princes, each a son of man in whom there is no help.
This much Jesus knew, this much He saw coming. He knew He would walk to death alone, with no man to help. But one thing Jesus didn’t see coming: His one constant companion, the Father Himself, likewise abandoning Him. Matthew 27:46, 50 About the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli,limasabachthani?” That is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” … Jesuscried again with a loud voice, and yielded up his spirit. Jesus had been forsaken by his family, by his friends, and he thought he was doing it alone. But He wasn’t. For the first time in the history of eternity, the Word lost his connection to the Father.
In that moment, He had to have doubted – did I make a mistake? Why is my God ghosting me? Is He mad? Was I wrong about the plan? Should I just give up, call on the angels, and end this now? Curse these dogs and bulls gaping around me (Psalms 22), curse their houses and families and cut off their mercy forever? (Psalms 69, Psalms 109). These are thoughts we know he had. And He had them for the same reason we would have had them; our herd was abandoning us, and we were afraid to be alone. This would have been the perfect time for his plan B to kick in, if He had one; After all, He had trusted God. He gave God plenty of time, and it wasn’t working. And now would have been the perfect time to take care of the problem himself since God apparently had better things to do.
And we have a Savior because for Him, as it should be for us, there was no plan B; God needs no backup, and if He knows you are holding on to one… He’ll let it kill you, since you seem to love it so much. Even Jesus didn’t give up so easily; He cried out to God one more time, asking why he had been forsaken, and again received no answer. When He didn’t receive one, He made a conscious decision to stick with plan A. Or rather “Plan only-letter-we’ll-ever-need” Luke 23:46Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!”Having said this, he breathed his last.
The plan did not permit Him to take care of his own life. It wasn’t possible. He had spent all night looking for another way, and it didn’t exist. So rather than thrash in the trap and make it worse, He did what all of us must do; He surrendered his life to the only person who could actually take good care of it. If He could trust his truly special and precious spirit to the father, how much less of a risk is it for us to entrust to Him our flawed and arrogant spirits; for we certainly haven’t been able to makethem holy on our own.
Understand then the risk He was taking by placing the most valuable, most holy spirit to ever exist at the absolute mercy of the Father even as He was ghosting Him. Understand how hard that was, how hard it was not to choose a plan B that seemed like such a good idea right then. But this wine exists because he judged God faithful who promised. If you do as well, and only if you do, then drink of that spirit with me. This spirit learned to be alone; this spirit learned to stand against the herd, and be itself. It learned to do what it believed in, not what its peers expected. And yet it also learned to work with the herd; it learned to be reasonable when corrected, but unshakable when on firm moral ground.
But in the end, it had to stand for what it believed in when literally every being in the universe seemed against it. Including God, Himself. Such was the belief in His convictions that even when it looked as if God himself was rejected Him, He still did what He believed in. Each of us fears the rejection of the herd, whether that’s one individual or an entire nation. And this spirit in us is meant to give us an example of how get your approval and validation from a herd which cannot reject you; your own fractions, and the cloud of witnesses in heaven.
You can’t see them, but you know that your actions are being seen and measured; and whatever your friends, family, and even your closest friends might think, you must be willing to answer for your choices before these witnesses becauseyou believe in your choices, not because youthought others did.
THE FOOTWASHING
It’s easy to be distracted by what others think; because you don’t see God every do, but you do see the people very day. You interact with them, you watch them grow and stumble and change, and sometimes you watch them leave; and sometimes you forget that the people’s growth is God’s problem. The people’s success or failures are, in the end, counted between them and God. 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 Now thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and reveals through us the sweet aroma of his knowledge in every place. For we are a sweet aroma of Christ to God, in those who are saved, and in those who perish; to the one a stench from death to death; to the other a sweet aroma from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?
Your dumbness would frustrate me, if mattered to me when you got your act in pile.And if myreward was contingent on your completing your course, your blindness and deafness would have me stressed out of my wits every moment of every day. But that would be stressing over things beyond my pay grade; trying to control things which are impossible for me to control. And that would inevitably lead me to sin. My job is not to get you into the promised land; my job is simply to lead you in that direction. Whether you arrive or notis entirely your problem.
2 Timothy 1:11-15 For this, I was appointed as a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles. For this cause I also suffer these things. Yet I am not ashamed, for I know him whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that he is able to guard that which Ihave committed to him against that day.Hold the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. That good thing which was committed to you, guard through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. This you know, that all who are in Asia turned away from me; Paul’s whole house, his life’s work, left him. But he didn’t let it get to him because he knew him in whom he believed, and was persuaded that God was able to guard the investment Paul hadmade with his life – for His investment was with God, not in the people.
Likewise, I get paid either way because you are not mine. I am the servant of your father, sent to prepare you for whatever he has planned for your life. I may finish the job, or I may not; my job is simply to be here, as long as it takes, to do the job God has given me of babysitting his children. Galatians 4:1-2But I say that so long as the heir is a child,he is no different from a bondservant, though he is lord of all; but is under guardians and stewards until the day appointed by the father. You are placed under me to guide you until you are ready to take the reins of the empire God has prepared for you. And yet, as the children of God, you outrank the mere servant placed to teach, guide, and correct you.
And lest any of us forget that, Jesus left us an example, at the time when He was merely a servant of God, raising up children of God, by abasing Himself before those whom God sent Him to lead… John 13:4-5 [And He] arose from supper, and laid aside his outer garments. He took a towel, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Then he poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
Verse 12-15 So when he had washed their feet, put his outer garment back on, and sat down again, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call me, ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord.’ You say so correctly, for so I am.If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.I speak for God, but I am only His servant. These are not my children, I am simply responsible for His children. And just in case I ever forget that, I’m told to remind all of us that the greatest in this houseis only the greatest because He is the servant of all, at the behest of the Lord of all.
Because like Abigail, I am merely “a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord”. But as Jesus gave me an example, I have now given you an example; that if I, your guardian and steward have washed your feet, if I have humbled myself before you, how much more should you humble yourself under each other Philippians 2:3-4 doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself;each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.
If Jesus could forgive His disciples for betraying Him in his moment of greatest need, then I can forgive you for breaking your promises and failing to do what you’re told. And if I can do that, you can certainly forgive each other for your various and sundry annoying habits and pettyactions, knowing that you have received forgiveness for worse. Likewise, if I can leave problems that are too big for me in someone else’s hands, so you can leave problems to big for you in mine, and those too big for my hands in God’s. Your life is not your own; whether you are struck by lightning or die of the plague is not in your hands, but in Gods. So don’t try to grasp the vapor that is your life because no man has the power to lengthen hislife; he only has the power to shorten it by grasping for it.
EYES AHEAD
If Jesus let fear of losing the herd He built affect Him, he would have failed. If he let the fear of their criticism affect him, he would have failed. In the end, if He had let His fear of rejection by God himself lead Him to assume that God’s silence meant disapproval He would have failed. In the end, Jesus knew He could not be rejected because a person who had done what He had done, a person who was what He was, could not be rejected. When you believe that – really believe that – then you too will have overcome the spirit’s deepest fear and no longer need this wine. John 19:30 When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, “It is finished.”He bowed his head, and gave up his spirit.
When Jesus realized the Father had forsaken him, He was, like all of us would be, momentarily insecure. He took no news for bad news, like a fearful person would. But then he realized it could not be bad news for God was righteous and so was He. So He realized that He shouldn’t take God’s silence for condemnation and with that choice conquered the last fear. Then He realized why the Father had to forsake Him, and finally said “It is done” for all of the fears had finally been overcome and Jesus was still without sin. That was the point he came to Earth to prove, above all else. Having announced that the goal was accomplished, He breathed his last. And from that day forth, would never need to fear death, solitude, or pain ever again. Nor would any of us who are a part of his body.
Hebrews 4:15 For we don’t have a high priest who can’t be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but one who has been in ALL POINTS tempted like we are, yet without sin. We now know, better than ever, precisely what these points were in which he was tested; for there are three; the fear of death, check; the fear of abandonment, check. And the fear of pain – definitely check.Most of us fail miserably when faced with a single one of these fears at a time; But at the moment of His last breath, Jesus was confronted with every single one at the same time and in their rawest form at their greatest intensity… and then committed himself to Him who judges righteously. Micah 7:7-9 But as for me, I will look to Yahweh. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. Don’t rejoice against me, my enemy. When I fall, I will arise. When I sit in darkness, Yahweh will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of Yahweh, because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my case, and executesjudgment for me. He will bring me forth to the light. I will see his righteousness.
THE FEAR OF PAIN
It’s fitting to conclude with Jesus’ overcoming the fear of pain, for in many ways that was the most important of the three; for that was the one which the Old Covenant had not even attempted.Exodus 12:3, 6 Speak ye unto all the congregation of Israel, saying, In the tenth day of this month they shall take to them every man a lamb, according to the house of their fathers, a lamb for an house: … Andye shall keep it up until the fourteenth dayof thesame month: and the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it in the evening. The OT Lamb was not tortured; it was not mocked or whipped or given a crown of thorns. It was separated from its herd for three days; and then it’s throat was cut humanely and it was cleaned and roasted.
But the OT lamb did not have to overcome a fear of pain – only a fear of death and a fear of abandonment. Because only the body and the spirit of the OT people were being redeemed; not their souls. Theirs was a promise of indefinite life upon perfect obedience; let God be your king, let God act in place of your soul, and you are guaranteed life for as long as you let God be your master. But this cannot bring not eternal life which must come from within you. And that is only possible with the power of a redeemed soul. And so the fear of pain did not need to be confronted in the covenant of Moses – only the fears of solitude and death needed to be paid for by the sacrifice of the OT Lamb. But Christ, our Passover Lamb, had to confront not just two, but all three fears simultaneously.
Crucifixion, at the best of times, is a painful and slow way to go. To do so after being whipped, mocked, sleep deprived and with thorns on your head and nails in your extremities was a gruesome death indeed. Yet we are told exactly how Jesus confronted this particular fear; by His soul looking towards the future; knowing that this would pass, and that what came after would make even this excruciating torture would seem as nothing compared to the glory which He had with the Fatherbefore the world was. Hebrews 12: 1-4… let us run with patiencethe race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him who has endured such contradiction of sinners against himself,that you don’t grow weary, fainting in your souls. You have not yet resisted to blood, striving against sin; It is your souls that, seeing a small chance of pain possibly coming, fear to endure it and act anxiously to avoid even that small chance. When it was always God’s problem to worryabout.
It is your souls which, hearing your beast in agony, desperately seek to relieve it, even at the risk of bringing that same pain on others. When that was always God’s problem to provide for your beast. And it is your souls which must have patience, knowing that at the other end of the valley of the shadow of death there is a garden of life forever. But getting you there is, and must remain, God’s problem. Job 33:22 Yes, his soul draws near to the pit, and his life to the destroyers. “If there is beside him an angel, an interpreter, one among a thousand, to show to man what is rightfor him; then God is gracious to him, and says, ‘Deliver him from going down to the pit, Ihave found a ransom.’ 25-30 His flesh shall be fresher than a child’s. He returns to the days of his youth. He prays to God, and he is favourable to him, so that he sees his face with joy. He restores to man his righteousness. He sings before men, and says,‘I have sinned, and perverted that. which was right, and it didn’t profit me. He has redeemed my soul from going into thepit. My life shall see the light.’ “Behold, God works all these things, twice, yes three times, with a man, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be enlightened with the light of the living.
Jesus was that one man in a thousand whom Solomon said would be righteous; the Ransom whom God found for our souls. If we confess that we have sinned, perverted that which was right, and it didn’t profit us. IF we let God worry about His problems, and we worry only about those responsibilities that are left to us; our life, our herd, and our comfort are nice, and we should work to build them… but not fear losing them. For “that which you greatly fear” usually “comes upon you”. But notice that last part of the passage; “Behold, God works all these things, twice, yes three times, with a man, to bring back his soul from the pit”. He worked twice in the Old Testament, and three times in the new.
He redeemed us from death and from solitude in the OT, working twice; but only in the NT did he work thrice, redeeming us from the fear of pain, a fear which, when gone, frees the soul to “Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness”, and brings eternal life and the first two things. Because if your soul thinks only of this life, worries only about its beasts discomfort today, the it will have no reason to endure with patience because it won’t believe the most important thing: tomorrow comes. So if you’re alone, remember: tomorrow comes, a tomorrow where you will never be alone again. If you believe this, you will overcome fear. If you’re dying, remember: tomorrow comes. After this, you will never be able to die again. If you believe this, you will overcome fear. And if you’re in pain, remember: tomorrow comes. A tomorrow where they will neither hurt nordestroy in all God’s holy mountain, and he will personally wipe away all tears from their eyes. If you believe this, you will overcome fear. Believe it; for tomorrow comes; and it’s going to be awesome.